Why Humans Make Lousy Lovers
“I Love You” are three of the most misunderstood words
by Jean-Claude Koven
How can I, love, and you, three of the most misunderstood words in human language, be linked together to form our most sublime sentence? Like a Linus blanket we refuse to relinquish, this seemingly simple phrase comforts us from cradle to grave. Since long before grunts gave way to words, its message has been expressed by mothers to infants, children to their best friends, people to their pets, lovers to each other, and, most notably, by those facing death to their God.
This celebrated sentence is like a teeter-totter: I on one end, you on the other, and love, the magnificent fulcrum that connects the two in a dance of infinite possibilities, in the middle. But who am I? And who are you, really? And, as Cole Porter asked way back in 1929, “What is this thing called love?” Perhaps these questions are the true riddles of the ages. Perhaps the one who succeeds in plumbing the depths of these three terms will be at last reunited with the Oneness of creation.
I, for one, am presently no closer to unraveling this conundrum than when I first breached the womb. But the flood of warmth that moves through me each time I express my love for you reflects the absolute joy of this journey of discovery. The deeper I explore the mystery of my own existence, the more I discover the divine in you. I now know with absolute certainty that in the fullness of time love will consume me, and any last shred of my personal I will dissolve in love’s brilliance as the you and I merge.
Sex—expressed or sublimated—is the stage on which we humans, like all other sentient beings, enact this cosmic passion play. Sex is like a Stradivarius violin, a perfect instrument with ranges of expression that exceed what our senses can contain. In the hands of an unconscious musician, clumsy, probing fingers can only evoke gross groans and squeaks, violating our sensibilities and profaning the instrument’s perfection.
So we now have a fourth word to add to our ill-defined stew. “I love you, let’s have sex.” Unfortunately, humanity has so confused sex with love that the two have become inextricably intertwined. If we drove our cars the way we make love, we would solve the world’s overpopulation problem in the beep of a horn. Ironically, our civilized societies demand more training and supervision for getting behind the wheel of a car than getting it off in the back seat.
Getting it off (or on) … what a delightful euphemism for making love that is! You see, it doesn’t matter whether you bone or bonk, do the deed or the horizontal tango, make bacon or babies, pork, romp, screw, or express your deepest essence in a sublime act of total surrender—the supremely flexible Stradivarius of sex accommodates them all. Every possible expression of sexuality, from tantric ascension into heavenly bliss to child molestation and ritual killings, is part of its vast repertoire.
If you’re bent on making sense of it all, then fasten your seat belt. Here’s where the road makes a sudden, steep, and slippery descent. To understand the full range of sexual expression we need to know quite a bit more about the players than their pronouns. And this calls for examining the illusion we charmingly refer to as reality and the (mis)perception of who we (you and I) truly are.
From the human ego’s earthly perspective, we are biochemical entities that depend on a fragile solar and planetary ecosystem for our sustenance and survival. We are a tangled complex of emotions, intelligence, physicality, and—if we can move beyond our primary instincts—spirituality. Each of us, moreover, is distinct and separate from everyone and everything else.
A cosmological perspective reveals something entirely different. Each aspect of the creation, whether sentient or (seemingly) inert, is part of what the Buddhists call Indra’s Net—an infinite, interconnected cosmic hologram through which the All That Is records its experiences. In other words, you and I are each an aspect of God perceiving itself as human.
These two views, the egoistic and the cosmological, fix the extremes of a continuum of being that ranges from the constricted human-I at the bottom through the level of the soul-I to merge with the Oneness of the God-I at the top. How you perceive reality shifts with every incremental step you take along this continuum. If you keep seeing (and believing) the same thing from day to day, it’s a sure sign that you’re stuck.
Something very similar to this perception gradient exists in the human body. There is a network of energy vortexes, called chakras (a Sanskrit word for wheel or disk), that relate to various colors, emotions, organs, and other aspects of human behavior. Although there are many chakra points throughout the body, the seven main ones are positioned along a vertical line that extends from the root chakra at the base of the spine to the crown chakra positioned just above the top of the head.
These chakras perform two significant functions other than the ones usually ascribed to them. First, they are the points through which every being is subtly connected to and communicates with the cosmic hologram. The information you receive through them comes as sudden flashes of inspiration or intuitive realization. They are your wireless links to the infinite network of creation. Moreover, both inspirational and sensory input move through the chakra system from root to crown. A blockage at any one chakra along the way obstructs the information from reaching a higher energy center.
Second, the chakras are the repositories for all your basic belief systems. All primary thought patterns concerning one’s life are imprinted, by category, in a particular chakra. For example, all issues concerning personal survival, such as safety, food, shelter, and financial security, are stored in the first (root) chakra. Beliefs concerning family, superstitions, and group judgments including religious convictions, are held here too. Blockages in the first chakra cause sex to be treated primarily as a function of procreation, as typically seen in underdeveloped or third-world countries or by followers of certain patriarchal religions. Extreme distortions in this chakra can result in satanic ritual sacrifice, child molestation, and a host of other perverted behaviors born of fear-based superstition often masked by the zeal of distorted religious dogma.
The second chakra (located just below the navel) stores all the decisions regarding one’s personal and emotional identity. It holds imprints arising from traumatic sexual experiences, as well as patterns of blame, guilt, power, and morality. Blockages here can trigger sexual behavior that involves emotional or physical pain and violent, non-consensual sex.
The third chakra (positioned in the solar plexus) is the seat of the ego and the upper home of the human aspect of our infinite being. Restrictions in this chakra lead to low self-esteem, fear of rejection, oversensitivity to criticism, and a deep-seated fear of having one’s secrets exposed. When this chakra is blocked, sex becomes codependent: the partners act out the parent-child bonding patterns that define their relationship.
These first three chakras delimit the human portion of the infinite continuum. While sex experienced through the lower energy centers may result in moments of great release or pleasure—for at least one participant—there is little or no sacred energy transfer between the partners. Significant energetic transfers cannot occur until both participants have done sufficient work to balance (or neutralize) the blockages in the first three chakras. This is accomplished through various disciplines that focus one’s attention on behavior patterns in order to gradually bring them under conscious, rather than impulsive, control. Having done this work, they are able to transcend their base human nature and move into the fourth chakra located in the heart. It is here that union is expressed as unconditional (as opposed to codependent) love, and love enters the first realms of the divine.
It is beyond the scope of this article to delve into the sexual fireworks that await you when you finally penetrate the mysteries of the three higher energy centers—the throat, third eye, and crown—that open the doorway to infinite intelligence. Expressing unconditional love and unobstructed communication through these higher chakras propels you (and your partner) into kaleidoscopic crescendos that transcend the human domain. Suffice it to say that once you experience the perfection of great, vintage champagne, you’ll never again settle for screw-top fermented grape juice out of a brown paper bag.
© 2006. Jean-Claude Koven. All Rights Reserved. Jean-Claude Koven is a writer and speaker based in Rancho Mirage, CA.
He is the author of Going Deeper: How to Make Sense of Your Life When Your Life Makes No Sense acclaimed as the best metaphysical book of the year by both Allbooks Reviews and USABookNews.com.
For more information, please visit www.goingdeeper.org.
Protect Yourself From Religious Zealots
Many a glorious spiritual seeker has been told that he’s going to Hell
by Rose Rosetree
How best can you protect yourself from zealots who insist on making your religious life their business? Many a glorious spiritual seeker has been told that he’s going to Hell. Bossy! Remember, nobody at Earth School has the right to interfere in the life of anyone else. (Exceptions are raising a child to maturity or if you find somebody breaking the law.) When someone you know is making what seems like a mistake, it’s fine to speak your opinion directly, once. Advice turns coercive when repeated, whether to a person’s face or behind his back or, even worse, as a so-called “prayer.”
Never let religious bullies victimize you. Here are some practical ways to use your own spiritual awareness for self-protection. Ask God to transform subconscious patterns that weaken you. For instance, what if you’ve been made to fear that you’re bad, stupid or crazy? Ask God to take negative programming away, then fill you with the opposite (usually some form of believing in yourself).
Next, ask God to alert you to anyone sending you coercive messages, whether an individual or a group. Have a conversation, if you can, where you tell that person in no uncertain terms, “Stop bossing me around.” Negative patterns can also be healed from your cellular memory. Ask God to remove the debris stuck in your cells, working out any karmic debts in the mildest possible way, like your dreams. Ask to learn the details consciously only if necessary.
You can also ask a Divine Being to help you release “The Big One.” Commonly, a person subconsciously carries one major vulnerability pattern, like “If I’m not good enough, nobody will love me,” or “Worrying means that I’m responsible.” Subconscious perfectionism is exhausting to strive for, and when a person feels discouraged temporarily, other people’s bullying messages can sneak in… by the truckload. So question inside until you find your vulnerability pattern. Acknowledge yourself for caring that much. Then ask God’s help to throw off the inappropriate load, once and for all, and then fill you with light. No bully deserves to intrude on the big sacred space that you share with God.
More Secrets of Self-Protection
“Psychic coercion” is the technical term for what happens to an aura when people try to play God. It’s the most prevalent form of subconscious debris on the planet. Ironically, the worst offenders are clueless that they have hurt anyone. More likely, they think they’re helping. Coercers dictate how you should dress. Or they’ve figured out how you should earn your money, also exactly how to spend it. What about your food, your hobbies, your sex life? Hey, nothing in your life is too personal for a coercer to try and “fix.” Supposedly, this person has brilliant insights about everything that you should be doing.
That funny word “should” often gives it away. However, you won’t necessarily hear any words at all. Most coercion isn’t spoken directly to your face. The nagging happens behind your back or it’s given the sanctimonious gloss of prayer. Right now, somewhere, someone is “praying” by asking God to inflict on others something that the coercer thinks would be good…even invading free will areas as intimate as religion, sexual orientation and political choice. Even the nicest-sounding requests can mess up people’s auras. If you’re on the sending end, stop. If on the receiving end, here’s how to clear that garbage out of your aura: For this method to be effective, speak words like these out loud: “God, surround me with light. Give me a shield of protection so that, from now on, only energies of the highest vibrations may enter my aura and my home. Next, please bring in a violet flame to transmute all stale or negative energy.”
Now comes the flashy part. Think the name of a Divine Being like Archangel Michael, St. Germain or Kwan Yin. Ask him or her to remove all psychic coercion from your subconscious mind, flinging the unwanted stuff out of your aura and into the violet flame.
“Imagine” means that you may not necessarily see. You may feel it, hear thoughts or otherwise sense what’s happening. Any of this works just fine. When the garbage removal is complete, you’ll know it.
To finish, ask the Divine Being to fill you with light. How vividly must you experience all this in order for the healing to work? Not vividly at all! Clearer experiences will come as you develop deeper perception. Ironically, garbage like psychic coercion may be what’s blocking that perception. To break out of this cycle, just do the healing.
Of course you can know what you think, what you feel, what you desire! Pay attention. And if, in future, you hear the word “Should”…. Well, I won’t order you. But I do invite you to question what’s going on. Almighty God doesn’t “should” us. Why let mere mortals?
Copyright (c) by Rose Rosetree 2006. This article is adapted from Rose Rosetree’s new book, Let Today Be A Holiday : 365 Ways to Co-Create with God. It’s available at her website, www.rose-rosetree.com. There you’ll find more of Rose Rosetree’s books, plus articles, FAQs and The Portal to Deeper Perception. If you like, you can also subscribe to her free monthly zine, with face and aura readings of people in the news. America’s leading expert at deeper perception, Rosetree’s work has been praised in newspapers as different as The Washington Post, the Washington Times, the LA Times, and The Catholic Standard. She teaches regularly on three continents.
“Why Did This Happen To Me Again?”
Your Keys to Lasting Transformation
by Dr. Janette Marie Freeman
Do you wonder why your efforts at personal transformation don’t seem to last?
Do you get excited about some new idea, but after a while you slip right back into your old patterns?
How many of your dreams, desires and hopes have been secretly dashed to destruction in the darkest recesses of your mind, before they even had a chance to take root?
If so, you are not alone.
If you’re anything like I was, something in you knows that there must be more to life than the day-to-day experiences of just surviving. There is an urge for greater expression in you, you’ve seen it, you’ve tasted it, and you’ve even made decisions to move towards it; until, that voice in your head convinces you that you’re crazy. You’ve read a lot; you’ve tried meditating, you’ve tried affirmations and attending workshops, seminars and classes. You know that your attitudes play a part in your life, and you’ve tried desperately to make some headway in your happiness quotient. And then it happens: it’s the same relationship under a different name, the same difficult person at work, the same response that triggers the same familiar pain, and you ask, “Why did this happen to me again?”
There is a huge leap in our personal growth, evolution, and effectual freedom when we can take responsibility for our feelings and experiences in life and see them as roadmaps to self-discovery.
Our belief systems are the brick and mortar of our lives. When they’re strong and supportive, they support life choices and actions that are also strong and supportive. When our beliefs are weak and degrading, we tend to see life through those eyes, attracting opportunities to prove ourselves weak and degraded. Until we have a lasting change in our internal belief systems, we seldom see lasting change in our lives. Why settle for misery when you can be happy? A strong foundation of supportive beliefs can set you free to live the life of your dreams.
In order to have a lasting transformation, you must experience a change of beliefs at the subconscious level. Although it can be helpful to get in touch with where and when you got your early beliefs, it is more important that you now establish the new beliefs that will assist you in attracting the life you desire. You may never determine the origin of some of your beliefs, but that doesn’t stop you from establishing new beliefs. You do this by being exposed to and accepting new ideas repetitively. This does not happen with one or two affirmations; it happens when you outweigh your limiting beliefs with positive beliefs.
Millions of people are interested in personal and spiritual growth, but are exhausted by their failed efforts. Many wonder why their efforts don’t seem to last. They get excited by some new idea, but after a while slip right back into old patterns. It can just seem like too much work. They want something that is easier to do, that fits into their busy lifestyle, and is effective. They want to be encouraged and nurtured, and they need motivation to look above the negativity they see all around them.
The power of repetition is mentioned in one form or another in most self-help books, religious texts, even sports training and business manuals. They all say the same thing; “You must have a continuous influx of positive input in order to experience a lasting change in life.” “We are what we think about most,” has been taught, preached and written about for thousands of years. Unconscious practices of thought have produced the troubled world we see around us. Conscious practices of positive thought will produce the world we want to see and experience. Most of everyone’s pains and failures in life are simply a result of unhealthy beliefs. Those can be changed, when you know how to recognize beliefs that cause pain and create beliefs that bring joy and freedom. It is as simple as that. Positive repetition in its many forms can radically transform one’s life from painful to joyful, limited to abundant, diseased to healthy, and from loneliness to love. You can change your beliefs and change your life.
You see, I really know that we are creative beings. I’ve experienced Universal Oneness, and know that It is in every one of us. Its gift is what It is: creative energy, pure potential, pure unadulterated possibility. It doesn’t choose for us, It cannot. It simply says, “Yes.” Our opportunity is to reveal what beliefs are in us that the Universe is saying to us “Yes,” and create some new beliefs that we would like to experience the universe saying to us “Yes.” I know it’s simple, though not always easy, but what else are you going to do? Just when do you think will be a better time to change your belief systems and experience the life you were meant to live?
Never underestimate the power of repetition; it is a powerful and effective way to change your beliefs and radically change your experience. You can’t align your thinking with positive and enlightening ideas without a conscious choice and a decision to expose yourself to those ideas repeatedly. You can set yourself free!
From broke and lonely single mother of three, to ordained minister, author, speaker and coach, Dr. Janette Marie Freeman is the author of “Why Did This Happen to Me Again? Your Keys to Lasting Transformation” and co-author with Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra in “Wake Up . . . Live the Life You Love, In Spirit.” Sign up for your free copy of the popular LIVE RICHLY Newsletter at http://www.janettemariefreeman.com