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by Meriflor Toneatto
When women are empowered with money, they become “difference makers.” They transform not only their own lives but also those of their children, their families, and their communities at large. In her new book Money, Manifestation & Miracles: A Guide to Transforming Women’s Relationships with Money, award-winning leadership and coaching executive Meriflor Toneatto empowers women to extend their limits so they can create the life of their dreams. We hope you’ll enjoy this short excerpt from the book.
Both women and men harbor many beliefs about money that originate from childhood, social conditioning, and life experiences. More often than not these beliefs come from a place of lack rather than abundance.
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One common belief is: “Money is the root of all evil.” However, this is a reinterpretation of the original phrase from the Bible, which is: “The love of money is the root of all evil.” People who believe that money itself is evil usually want to distance themselves from money. As a result, they have an internal resistance to earning it, saving it, managing it, or handling it.
Another common belief is that money is scary. Having money, investments, and assets can be frightening and threatening for some people. These fears likely stem from past experiences of feeling uneasy about being perceived as wealthy, of having family and friends asking for loans, or feeling victimized regarding money. They likely want to stay under the radar, and perhaps be underearners, finding this easier than being vulnerable to being envied for their wealth or to being defrauded.
For women, I have found four key money beliefs that can hold them back from moving to the next level in their professional growth. The first common belief is: “It’s not about the money. I just want to help lots of people.” There is an underlying belief that making more money is selfish, greedy, and/or not spiritual. Often the result is that these individuals are underearning and overgiving in their work, leading to burnout and resentment. If this is the case for you, please understand that generating more money through your life’s work enables you to reach more people. It is a synergistic flow. Money provides you with more choices to fuel the mission you are passionate about creating; to enjoy a better quality of life for yourself and your family; and to fund your social promise by, for example, contributing to a favorite cause.
The second commonly held belief that can hold women back is: “I have to have everything in place before I can take the next big step.” This concept is closely tied to being a perfectionist and becoming distracted with what others are doing. This can lead to thinking that more training is required or that you need to obtain more credentials before fully stepping up in your work, promoting yourself, being more visible, and becoming a leader.
The third common belief is: “I can’t make more than I did in my previous position.” This is particularly the case with businesswomen who have had a high level of success in their past jobs. There is an underlying assumption that they may not be able to repeat their previous standard of achievement. The internal dialogue includes questions such as “What if I fail?” and “What will people think of me?” In some cases, these women have created a ceiling for themselves, thinking they can never break it. In truth, as a businesswoman, you have an opportunity to make more money than ever before. This can happen when you give yourself permission to make more, and when you are willing to break free of your limiting, self-sabotaging beliefs.
The fourth common belief is: “My clients won’t pay that much” or “I can’t ask for a raise in my job.” If this rings true for you, this may stem from some form of undervaluing yourself, your skills, and the value and benefits you provide, which can prevent you from charging and getting paid what you are worth. This can be an unproductive cycle that can impact your self-confidence. The reality is that it is not our place to make decisions for someone else. When you are aligned and empowered with who you are and the value you provide, your ideal clients or customers will be those who also value the investment they are making in themselves by working with you. This also extends to feeling confident about requesting a raise in your job because doing so expresses the value and contribution you provide to the organization.
In nurturing a positive mind-set, you will need to be in an environment with like-minded people who are successful and wealthy, because this will help motivate you. They can serve as role models, demonstrating that you too can have success. The key element is for you to fully show up and play a much bigger game in your business or career. The best way to accomplish this is by shifting your money mind-set to one that is more empowering.
About the author:
Meriflor Toneatto is the author of Money, Manifestation & Miracles. As the CEO and founder of Power With Soul, she specializes in helping ambitious women entrepreneurs, professionals and leaders reach financial prosperity and success while fulfilling their social promise to the world. Her work has been featured internationally in media outlets like Yahoo! Finance, Washington Post, International Business Times, Los Angeles Times, and more. Visit her online at www.meriflor.co.
Do women have different relationships with money than men? Very definitely, yes, says entrepreneur and business coach Meriflor Toneatto.
“For women, money is an emotional currency, tied to our sense of self-worth and confidence, which can lead us to financial pitfalls that ultimately limits what we pursue in life,” says Toneatto, a certified business and life coach, and author of “Money, Manifestation & Miracles: 8 Principles for Transforming Women’s Relationship with Money,” (www. moneymanifestationandmiracles. com).
A woman’s emotional relationship with money directly impacts her overall level of satisfaction in life – or lack of it, Toneatto says.
“Wealth isn’t just about money; it’s about the quality of a woman’s overall life,” she says. “Greater awareness of how you feel about your life can yield helpful insights regarding your relationship with money, which can immediately change for the better.”
There are a number of ways to start doing that. Toneatto reviews eight of them:
- Give yourself permission. For better or worse, women tend to seek support or permission for significant life decisions. Skip a step and give yourself permission. It’s important to have an open mind and heart as you proceed with financial self-improvement, which includes being grateful for who you are right now, warts and all, for arriving at this moment in your life.
- Be honest. Total honesty is the best way to get to the root of your feelings, beliefs and attitudes about money. Women often keep secrets about our true feelings, especially regarding money.
- Put yourself first. Commit to taking care of yourself and putting your needs at the top of your priority list. Think of it as “self-full” rather than “selfish.” When you love yourself, you’ll experience positive changes that will benefit those around you; you will operate better. “Self-fullness” may include scheduling uninterrupted time alone for reflection, reading, meditation, physical training and other ways to get in touch with your emotions.
- Start a money journal. Consider keeping a gratitude journal and, taking it a steep further, a financial journal. What you focus on will grow, so focus on being grateful about money and you’ll start to see positive changes in your life.
- Practice forgiveness. A key way to move beyond your emotional obstacles with money is to let them go and forgive. Practicing forgiveness is a powerful way to remove what’s standing between you and having more money in your life.
- Feel prosperous and rich now. Prosperity and wealth is a state of mind. It’s essential that you don’t feel poor because that brings your thoughts toward poverty. Your goal is to take stock of what you have now, embellish it with gratitude, and enjoy the return.
- Pay attention to synchronicities. As you begin to work on transforming your relationship with money, pay attention to what comes back to you as a result of your intention. Be aware of coincidences, synchronicities and opportunities that come your way. This may include new clients at unexpected places, hearing references to new books or even a mentor, or the possibility that you’re at the right place at the right time.
- Celebrate the big and small – have fun! We always notice the big things in life, but we tend to overlook the little steps we took to get there. They all count! And, take heart in your journey – an adventure of self-discovery, love, courage and possibility. This is at the heart of true, lifelong self-improvement.
“Just like other crucial life factors, such as health and spiritual well-being, a healthy financial relationship is a lifelong commitment, and what I detail here is just the beginning,” she says. “Maintaining the right money mindset will require further guidance for some women.”
About Meriflor Toneatto
Meriflor Toneatto is the founder and CEO of Power With Soul, a company dedicated to empowering female entrepreneurs and professionals by helping them transform their relationship with money. The author of “Money, Manifestation & Miracles: 8 Principles for Transforming Women’s Relationship with Money,” (www. moneymanifestationandmiracles. com), Toneatto holds a bachelor’s degree in public administration and management and graduate certifications in personal, professional and financial coaching. A former corporate executive, she is a recipient of the Amethyst Award for Excellence and Outstanding Achievement from the government of Ontario, Canada.