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by Patricia Smith
Highly empathic people find it challenging to establish boundaries and shielding or create a kind of a barrier between them and the world. Sponging everything around, it affects their mood, emotions, and productivity.
It can definitely be said that being an empath is a heavy gift. You are going to have a lot of emotions and you’re going to feel everything deeply and this can wear you down.
Of course, there is a bright side to it.
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With empathy comes a watery, intense feeling. There is no one else in this world that feels beauty and knows beauty more than someone who’s an empath at the same time.
Being an empath you can feel everybody’s beauty, gifts, and soul in a unique way. You get a very strong feeling that can be described as palpable and tactile the moment you become aware of other people’s godliness and beauty.
If you realize that you’re an empath and you take care of yourself as an empath you will have access to that. If you can take care of yourself as an empath than everything will turn around for you and you will feel people’s beauty and you will greatly benefit from that.
Self-care and self-love are the two things that if you do as an empath can completely change your world.
As an empath, because you end up feeling everybody else’s stuff sometimes it can make you a bit of a people pleaser and you will end up putting your feelings and your emotions on the back, so other people can feel well.
Because you absorb so much of what’s going on around you want to make everybody else feel good.
Being an empath you feel your environment so much you highly invested in everyone around you feeling good that you put yourself before them. You tend to neglect yourself, what you need and what you want in favor of what other people need.
And it can be hard because you have to acquiesce that no one talks to you about this, a small portion of people are aware that they are truly empaths. This is something that we’re not taught as children on how to deal with our emotional state. That is why we have to reverse-engineer ourselves.
It goes deeper than trying to make sure everyone around you is happy so you can feel happy. It’s actually to the point where you’re so empathic that you don’t know where you end and someone else begins. You don’t know what your genuine emotion is and what you’ve picked up from somebody else.
What’s essential as an empath to create balance and to have boundaries is to take care of you.
The first thing an empath can do when they feel like they’re overwhelmed because being overwhelmed is a very common thing for an empath is to immediately train yourself to go into a state of self-care and self-love because the moment you start loving yourself and caring for yourself you automatically create a boundary, a barrier between you and somebody else.
When you give yourself care, you nurture yourself, you recognize yourself, you’re looking at yourself, you’re giving yourself attention so you’re you’re noticing yourself as a different being and you are investing in that. And once that starts to happen you become a little bit more protective of the energy that you invested in yourself. You start to realize how good it feels to have more protection and a natural boundary forms.
The best way to have a boundary between you and other people mentally, emotionally and naturally is to take care of yourselves because the moment you start neglecting yourself, you start to blend with other people and cease honoring yourself.
And what is self-care, what is selfless?
Self-love is self-care and self-care is the beginning of balance for the empath.
If you are struggling with feeling overwhelmed and not sensing your boundaries you want to start with self-care in the most basic way.
You want to start with eating well. Eating well, replacing processed food with organic, eating whole foods, drinking lots of water every day, exercising and breathing properly.
Most the time we don’t breathe properly. Our breathing is shallow or we hold our breath and we’re not oxygenating.
One more basic thing that’s gonna make a huge difference doing is kind self-talk. Talk to yourself in a nice way, watch yourself and make sure that you are having good, loving thoughts towards yourself.
Self-care isn’t all about buying yourself new clothing because you think it’s gonna make you feel better or getting a massage or spending money acquiring things. That’s not necessarily self-care although sometimes you can definitely take care of yourself by spending money or purchasing or gifting things to yourself.
Real self-care starts with the basic. It starts with how you’re breathing, what you’re eating, what you’re drinking, what you’re putting in your body what you’re saying to yourself and exercising. That is going to make the difference for the empath.
The moment you feel yourself sinking down and you feel yourself becoming too heavy, too full of other people, go into the self-care mode, the basic level of self-care and that will begin to create boundaries and will bring you back into balance.
The first thing that empaths usually do is they stop caring for themselves. They just give up. When they start feeling overwhelmed, a sense of paralysis sneaks in.
Empaths are a sponge and the moment that sponge is full they get they feel paralyzed. In order to get that momentum going in bringing the balance back again, it begins with self-care and through self-care as anything that’s not yours will fall away.
Sometimes it can help to put a shield up.
Imagining a psychic shield around you can help tremendously. Other times, what can actually benefit you is not to imagine it as a shield like something that just blocks all energy and contains all energy but actually try to refer it as a filter that only lets neutral energy or higher.
Having a filter not only allows energy to stop flow to you and from you but it allows it to stay at a certain level.
So that can actually benefit to a certain degree with keeping your energy aligned and with keeping things flowing. If you’re putting a filter up and there is something inside of you that you are working on, that you need to realize, it doesn’t matter if you put a shield up or not, that’s going to resonate forward.
A shield or a filter will take the edge off of something.
It will take the edge off an interaction mainly because of the awareness that you’re putting on it. But if there really is something that you need to learn and if somebody is being a mirror for you then even though you have a filter up it will still come forward because that’s the point of being here on Earth and that’s the point of being alive is we can learn, we can integrate and grow.
At the end of the day, if you have a lesson to learn, it will come through anyway. The filter just helps create awareness, an intention that keeps extra miscellaneous energies away and the ones that you really need to work on to come through.
If you’re putting a shield up and you’re very conscious of that and something does come through then you also know that this is something that you should work on. This is something that you should communicate with to find out why it’s coming forward and release it.
Your struggle is understood.
About the author:
Patrica Smith is an empathic mother and a blogger. She shares her wisdom about empaths on www.innerouterpeace.com.
When E.L. Graham first met unknown actor Derek Luke, Luke had just one dream, to land a leading Hollywood role and spend his life in an acting career. Following a four year struggle and over 200 auditions with little to no success, Graham agreed to mentor Luke, putting into action his unique brand of wisdom. Graham empowered and inspired Luke to fight on and that focus eventually won him the role of Antwone Fisher, the lead role in the hit movie of the same name.
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Graham’s wisdom is reflected through the quotes of others, unlocking the life-changing power harnessed by and hidden within famous quotes. In The Law of Quotes: Your Keys to Success, Graham leads his reader, showing them how to achieve the same uncanny success as Derek Luke.
Quotes are some of the highest trending items on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube. They hold secrets, they tell of hidden powers and abilities you can obtain and achieve for your journey of success or purpose.
It is no accident or coincidence that before computers and social media, influencers, great men and women, philosophers, spiritual and thought leaders, kings, queens, politicians and celebrities dating back as far as ancient times, used, worked and lived by quotes. Think of how nations were motivated by quotes, from Socrates to Sir Winston Churchill to Oprah Winfrey. Movements were started with quotes such as: “Let him that would move the world, first move himself,” “The empires of the future are the empires of the mind,” and “You do not get the things you want, you get the things you believe.”
Its all there for the taking:
“Derek’s story is truly an incredible adventure worth paying attention to,” explains E.L. Graham. “After Derek told me of his dream to star in Denzel Washington’s movie, that night I had a dream about our conversation. After waking up, I knew everything was in place; all he needed now was to turn his dream into a reality. The key words of encouragement and teaching he needed could be found within famous quotes. The affirmation of my teaching is contained and mirrored in iconic quotes, some of which have been knocking around for hundreds of years. Through learning these lessons, Derek finally achieved his dream.
“For the first time I’m now sharing this method with others, so that they can unlock even the wildest of their dreams and live them out with gusto. Everything is revealed through secrets and working principles in a commentary and teaching format style that will resonate with anyone. It’s all there for the taking; anyone can achieve their success, just like Derek Luke.”
With the volume’s demand expected to increase, interested readers are urged to secure their copies without delay. The Law of Quotes: Your Keys To Success from Clovercroft Publishing is available now.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Over the course of 25 years, E.L. Graham has extensively studied theology and philosophy. Graham has worked with actors, writers, musicians, film and music producers in Los Angeles and California. His work has been featured on Oprah Winfrey, Charlie Rose, Steve Harvey and Jay Leno talk shows. In addition to the entertainment industry, Graham has worked with entrepreneurs and business professionals. E.L. Graham’s mission is to provide you with the formulas and the keys with which to unlock your dreams and ideas, providing the seeds of your wealth and success.
by Roger Housden
Is it possible to love the life you have — acknowledging and accepting the conditions of your life exactly as they are — and drop the struggle to make you and your life different?
That is the question that acclaimed teacher and bestselling author Roger Housden invites readers to live into in Dropping the Struggle: Seven Ways to Love the Life You Have. We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt from the book’s introduction.
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Until a few years ago I had spent the greater part of my time in a more or less covert struggle with life. However well things were going, I often felt that something was not quite right. Either I didn’t want what turned up in quite the form it appeared, or I wanted something else that never quite materialized in the way I would have hoped. Always there was the pervasive feeling that something was missing, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
So I struggled to find the missing piece. I struggled for meaning and ran all over India and the Middle East looking for it. I struggled to feel that I was somebody rather than nobody, I struggled to find creative work that inspired me, I struggled with the past and with concerns for the future, I struggled in relationships, I struggled to improve myself, and sometimes I even struggled to get out of bed in the morning instead of hiding under the sheets. And yes, I would struggle to avoid the fact that I am not built to last and that the whole Roger show would be over before I’d even had time to discover what on earth it was all about.
And yet for much of my life I wasn’t even aware that I was struggling. It was so normal, and often so subtle — the background banter in my head as I went about my day — that I never even thought to call it a struggle; until, that is, I gradually became intimate enough with myself to acknowledge the feeling tones with which I moved through the day and to see through the ways I made my own life so needlessly difficult. Now the struggles are mostly over, or when they aren’t, I manage to see them more quickly for what they are and remember — mostly — to step out of the ring. Call it the natural wisdom of aging if you like. If I have not learned to drop the struggle by now, I probably never will.
Struggle happens for all of us, so it must have a place in the scheme of things, but I for one have spent way too much time struggling for what struggle can never accomplish. For struggle is not the same as effort — what is sometimes called “right effort.” We all need to make an effort in every area of our life, effort that allows us to fulfill an intention or that edges us toward what we know to be true, even if we don’t inhabit it now. Life doesn’t just provide us with food and shelter as a natural right. Roger Federer didn’t become the tennis champion he is without effort. If you are anything like me, you didn’t make it through college without effort. Effort is a natural exertion of the personal will toward a specified end.
But struggle is an added push that is born of fear. Ultimately, it is born of the fear of not surviving, of dissolving and disappearing, not just as a physical form but as a psychological self. Struggle reinforces the ego’s identity. It is one of the ways the ego asserts its existence.
Yet struggle will never get us the things we want most — love; meaning; presence; freedom from anxiety over the past and future; contentment with ourselves exactly as we are, imperfections and all; the acceptance of our mortality — because these things lie outside the ego’s domain. For these, we need another way. That way begins and ends in surrender, in letting go of our resistance to life as it presents itself.
We struggle with reality when we lose touch with the dimension of our being that is not defined by our egoic identity. Who or what is larger than the ego? You are. This book is dedicated to that larger, indefinable you, to reminding you to rest back into the life you already have, just as it is. And I say “reminding you” because deep down we already know. It’s easier than you think, but it takes more than an hour-long yoga class.
It takes an allowing, in the form of a persistent, deep, and courageous Yes! to life right now. That Yes doesn’t wave away the pain of the world as mere illusion; neither does it attempt to become some detached awareness or witness safely removed from the trials of life. It doesn’t mean not caring about what happens in the world or in our own lives. It means caring so much that the heart spills open. It means being willing to be fully here where we are, wherever we are, however dark or light it happens to be.
When that Yes happens, we open our arms to life as it appears and disappears, moment to moment. We fall back into the larger aliveness that we already are, out of range of the ego’s dictates. This is true relaxation; it is what we are here for. And it is what this book is for: to help you celebrate seven different ways of dropping the struggle and loving the life you already have.
About the author:
Roger Housden is the author of Dropping the Struggle and numerous other books, including the best-selling Ten Poems series, which began in 2001 with Ten Poems to Change Your Life and ended with Ten Poems to Say Goodbye in 2012. He offers writing workshops, both in person and online, with an emphasis on self-discovery and exploration. Visit him online at www.RogerHousden.com.
Excerpted from Dropping the Struggle: Seven Ways to Love the Life You Have. Copyright © 2016 by Roger Housden. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.
When her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, noted author, speaker, and broadcast personality Dayna Steele began posting messages on Facebook detailing the alarming, if not shocking, struggles she and her family were experiencing on a daily basis. Three years of these online posts, along with selected comments she received from others, have been crafted into an accessible narrative in her new book Surviving Alzheimer’s With Friends, Facebook, and a Really Big Glass of Wine. With biting humor and raw emotion, Steele hopes to provide other caregivers a manual to navigate the disease.
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“When Mom was diagnosed, I posted it on Facebook because I couldn’t bear the thought of saying ‘Mom has Alzheimer’s’ over and over again,” Steele says. “Then, after seeing how many replies and comments I received, I started to share a bit more. It turned into a support system for me, and that turned into a support system and a community for literally thousands of people.”
In addition to Steele’s personal account, as told through these Facebook posts, the book also contains practical information relevant to anyone who has a family member suffering from Alzheimer’s. After consulting experts in a variety of fields for her own mother’s journey (neurology, assisted living, long-term care, required documents, insurance, and elder law), Steele compiled, and now shares, a wealth of resources designed to help navigate this challenge.
“We were simply not equipped nor prepared for what was coming,” recalls Steele, a mother of three sons herself. “I’m amazed at how many things I didn’t know. Not only what’s going to happen to the patient, but what’s going to happen to the family. Nobody talks about those things.”
“This book isn’t intended to make you feel sorry for my Mom, my family, or for me. It is to give you permission to live, and laugh, and love, and cry, and throw things no matter where you are in your journey with Alzheimer’s,” Steele explains. “If you have to experience Alzheimer’s – and chances are you will – I say do it with love, laughter, and wine.”
Fran Gilmore Nicholson passed away on October 17, 2015. In the coming months, her daughter Dayna will tell her story, which became the story of many, to audiences of all sizes across the country. Her goal is to help other families now stunned by Alzheimer’s disease in their search for answers, information, and support.
Refreshingly honest and laced with dark humor, Surviving Alzheimer’s stands as a testament to personal strength and resiliency in the face of extraordinary and unexpected circumstances. This is Steele’s seventh book and it is available in paperback and Kindle versions on Amazon and at select retail locations.
About Dayna Steele
Dayna Steele is the creator and CEO of YourDailySuccessTip.com. She is the author of Rock to the Top: What I Learned about Success from the World’s Greatest Rock Stars, the creator of the 101 Ways to Rock Your World book series, a Rock Radio Hall of Famer, and a successful entrepreneur. Dayna is currently traveling the country as the Chief Caring Expert for Caring.com. A professional business speaker, Dayna is also a regular contributor to Fox News Houston and consults Fortune 500 companies on leadership and employee success. She is married to author and former NASA pilot Dr. Charles Justiz. Her mother, Fran Nicholson, was her biggest fan.