My Personal Ability to Change

Re-Creating Your Self by Christopher Stone

Last time was all about Change in General.  I pointed out that Change is natural, good. I made a case for the inevitability of change, and I explained why change is nothing to fear. In fact, I suggested that you embrace change as you would a best friend.

This column addresses change on a more personal basis. It will give you the opportunity for prove for your self your own personal ability to change. You will do so by identifying the false, limiting, and negative beliefs that you have already changed in the past.

You’ll need your Adventure Logbook, this time: At the top of the first fresh page, please write, “My Personal Ability to Change.”

You’re going to prove your own natural ability to change by listing the false, negative, and self-limiting beliefs that you have changed in the past. First, list each negative belief that you held. Ask your self, “From who did I first accept this belief?” What negative experiences did the belief create? Next: Write down the positive belief that replaced it. When did you change the belief? How did you change it? How has the new belief improved your life?  Your Guide Denise will show, by example, how this Adventure should be done.

Your Guide for This Adventure

Denise, 29-Years-Old

Old, negative belief: I’m physically weak and susceptible to illness. Because I was born prematurely and underweight, my mother believed I was frail, delicate, and I accepted the belief from her. Consequently, I created my youth in line with my belief: I had what must have been one of the least healthy childhoods on record. I contracted all of the so-called childhood diseases, and a lot of “adult” “ills,” too.

New, positive belief: I’m physically strong and healthy. I began changing my negative attitude after I went off to college. Away from my mother’s constant reminders of my frailty, I forgot to believe that I was sickly. What’s more, my college friends were always saying that I looked “disgustingly healthy, full of energy.” As my belief changed, so did my experiences: I no longer believed that I’d catch pneumonia if I went outside without a sweater, and I didn’t. In the last ten years, I haven’t had any illness more serious than a short bout with the flu.

Old, negative belief: Someone else’s success makes it more difficult for me to succeed. I honestly don’t remember exactly where, or from whom, I accepted this idea, but I used to believe that there was only so much success to go around, and that someone else’s success took away from my chance of succeeding. In school, I was jealous my classmates’ accomplishments, both academic and personal. I begrudgingly accepted the accomplishments of my family and friends. News of someone else’s success drained my energy, made me weak with envy.

New, positive belief: I’m inspired by the success of others. Again, college was my turning point. I noted how my roommate, Darlene, was genuinely happy whenever a friend scored a success. Initially, I found this irritating. I called Darlene a “Goody Two-Shoes.” But Darlene didn’t believe that the success of others diminished her own chances of triumph. On the contrary, the achievements of others inspired Darlene, motivated her. Ever so slowly, irritation with my roommate was transformed to admiration. I began accepting her point of view. Today, I can honestly confirm, I feel energized, not enervated, when someone I know succeeds.

Old, negative belief: To succeed in my career, I have to work longer and harder than anyone else. I first accepted this belief from my father, a world-class workaholic. He stayed at the office later than anyone but still brought work home. He rarely took off weekends. I don’t remember him ever taking more than a one-week vacation. He believed this was necessary for success in a highly-competitive world. Until recently, I followed in his weary footsteps. But all work and no play made me an unhappy, exhausted and dull girl. Making matters worse, I wasn’t advancing any further or faster in my career than my co-workers and my friends who insisted on lots of leisure time and regular vacations.

New, positive belief: It’s not the hours I put into my work, it’s the work I put into my hours. I first heard this from a friend, and when she fully explained her philosophy, it did make sense. I’m still working at more fully accepting this new belief, but I’m already experiencing the beneficial results. I’ve stopped working on weekends, and I’ve stopped taking work home, period. I’m having fun. I’m trying new things, such as this Re-Creating Your Self course. I’m more relaxed. These days, I go to work feeling energized. I’m happy to be there, not resentful. I’m a more pleasant co-worker, a better friend. And, honestly, I accomplish more in one hour now, than I did in two hours before, when I maintained the “workhorse” belief.

A Re-Creating Your Self Thought:  In truth, your Personal Ability to Change is limited only by any beliefs you hold that change is difficult or even worse, that change is impossible.

Next Time: You Are More Than You Know.

Have a Re-Creating Your Self comment, observation, or a question? Please send them to me at recreatingyourself@mail2teacher.com
Copyright 2009 by Christopher Stone.